We met up with Mike at the park yesterday afternoon. He arrived late, said that he needed to go home and get some food for the kids, left, and came back altogether 40 minutes late. He asked if he could have the kids a half hour more, but I told him I had to get home to make dinner.
Then he started in on money. I may have mentioned that I found the cash savings he kept hidden in the house and I took half. Exactly half, down to the dollar. I found receipts for hundreds of dollars of purchases he's made for his "home improvement projects" yet he feels that I have no need for any of his money. "You don't have to pay rent at home. I will provide you with whatever you need there." His favorite line.
He told me that we needed to talk about our financial future. I told him we could do that over email, and we were here so he could visit with the kids. He asked if I wanted to go shopping for a new car with him, since he is sure (even without hearing back from the insurance company) that our car is totaled. I warned him that he needed to speak to his bankruptcy attorney about that, because a settlement from the insurance company may be subject to garnishment from the trustee to his creditors. He told me I didn't know what I was talking about, then started listing all the reasons that I was wrong and it wouldn't be fair.
"Alright," I said. "Believe what you want. I'm just saying that it would be a good idea to talk to the lawyer about it."
The questioning turned then from why would I think such a crazy thing to who gave me the idea. And to be honest, a divorce attorney I was interviewing gave me the notion. But I wasn't about to tell him that.
"Who exactly are you telling our business to?"
"Just tell me who told you."
"I deserve to know who you are talking to about OUR personal life."
"If you would just tell me, I wouldn't have to get so mad!"
When all those failed, he moved on to threats. The biggest threat of all.
"You know, I have rights to the kids too. If I kidnapped them and took them away, there is nothing you could do about it. It would be just like you stealing half my money. You're legally allowed, and there is nothing I can do about it."
The amount of money I took is equal to about a month's salary for him. Apparently our children are the equivalent of a month's salary to him.
But even further to the point, this is of course the only thing he can use to terrify me. Because he knows that I live and breathe for these two children, and that is the only hold he still and will always have over me. I hate him for using it.
This is him. This is the man that spent so long breaking me. For the last couple weeks he had been acting apologetic and sincere, but this is the real man. He is a man that would threaten his wife with the safety of their children.
I can't let myself be lulled into a false sense of security, and I can't forget the things that have happened. I need to remember, because my children need a defender. They need me.
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